This afternoon, John and I watched a movie that we had not seen in years, “Rudy.” Earlier this year, John got to hear “Rudy” speak at a Rotary event and we wanted to watch the movie again. It was so much fun! During the holiday season, if you want a great movie with the whole family (a movie that will make no one blush), get this one. It’s a great story.

For those of you who never saw the movie, here’s a summary. A boy is born into a hard-working, blue collar, Catholic family who are huge Notre Dame Football fans. The boy decides early in life that he will attend Notre Dame and play football for the university. Unfortunately his grades, physical size and athletic abilities do not support his dream. He works incredibly hard for many years and he achieves his goals. Although Rudy is technically on the team, he does not dress out for games.

(OK, “dress out” is a term from my junior high PE days. If it is not appropriate for males on a university football team, I do apologize. Please edit as you see fit.)

At the end, Rudy is only allowed to be on the sidelines for one game because someone else gave up their place. The scene in the movie brought me to tears…player after player brought their game jersey to the coach’s office, offering to give up their place on the team so that Rudy could play.

The story reminded me of so many times in my life when I was on that trip, in that room, giving that presentation, at that table, with that group, singing that song, eating that meal, enjoying that evening because someone went out of their way to include me. I didn’t have the grades, talent, experience, money, social standing or political contacts to merit that position. There is no question, I have benefited because others gave me a gift of status that was far beyond anything I deserved.

We have so much. We are so blessed. This year, let’s look for someone who needs what we have so easily. Take them in. Shift the spotlight. Speak comfort. Add a place at the table. Hold a hand. Make an introduction. Buy a meal. Spend some time. Invite them with you. Spread the joy. Buy an extra ticket.

We may change a life.

Friend, I pray that this year we will “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above ourselves, not looking to our own interests but each of us to the interests of the others.” (Philippians 2:3-4)

The family picture displayed on this morning’s newscast was absolutely perfect. The new Dad was beaming. The newborn was wrapped in a pastel blanket. And, Mom looked amazing. Her hair was clean and shining and freshly blown out. Her natural look makeup and sweet bed jacket finished the above-the-fireplace-portrait-ready look. As I watched the anchors congratulate their colleague on becoming a new Mom, I felt more than a little sad.

The segment reminded me of a conversation a friend and I had a few months ago. She shared that she and her husband were hoping to have a second child. This was exciting news and I hugged her and did a little dance. I promised to pray that God’s guidance would be clear. She went on to talk about the things that she would do differently during this second pregnancy. Part of her action plan surprised me; I was shocked that I had never even considered one of the issues that concerned this sweet Mom..

This time, she would make sure to have someone handy to do her hair and makeup before any pictures would be taken. This time, she would get a spray tan (being careful to protect the yet to be born little one) and would have the “right” outfit ready for those first pictures. This time a professional photographer would be with them in the labor and delivery room to make sure that only the most flattering moments would be available to share.

I am guilty. I have seen the “perfect” pictures and I never even thought about what those pictures must have cost those new families. I never considered that those new parents had been doing the most important work of their lives but their pictures looked like they were runway models.

Now, I am not being critical. I encourage folks to do what pleases them within God’s guidance. Please keep taking pictures. I love the ones with sweaty hair tucked into head bands and unshaven dads in scrubs, and, I love the perfect pictures too. But, I will be revising how I comment on those new family pictures. I will tell you about the sweet smiles and not say a thing about anyone’s hair. I will focus on the joy and not on cool clothes. I will see the face of God in your little one and not notice your nails.

It really isn’t about how we look, it is about what we do.

• I applaud the smile of one who rings the bell at the chemo treatment center, celebrating their last treatment.
• I adore the first steps of that one test driving their new hip.
• I love the black marks on skin that direct the path of those important radiation beams.
• I treasure the wave of the veteran who is struggling to make it through another day.
• I thank God for the “zippers” that cover repaired hearts and shoulders and knees and spaces once filled with cancer.

Mary and Joseph probably looked pretty rough on that night so long ago. She had never given birth before; I would bet that she questioned if she was doing anything “right” in that stable. But, rest assured that like every other new parent their smiles of joy had never been brighter.

Relax, My Friend, “Walk into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They don’t fuss with their appearance—but have you ever seen color and design quite like it? The ten best-dressed men and women in the country look shabby alongside them. If God gives such attention to the wildflowers, most of them never even seen, don’t you think He’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do His best for you?” (Luke 12:27-28, The Message)

Love,

Jill (just one of God’s kids)

Last night I attend the Escambia County Board of Commissioners’ meeting. I was excited. One item on their agenda meant a lot to John and to me. And so, I went to the meeting room; I signed up as a speaker in support of the agenda item; and, I got settled in and waited.

The first couple of agenda items took a long time. It didn’t surprise me.   I had been in the same room at a previous meeting of the County Commissioners. That meeting took more than 6 hours. And, when they got to the agenda item that interested me, there was a great deal of discussion. Last night, I was ready and prepared to sit and to wait a long time for their discussion of the item that concerned us so very much.

But, after about 20 minutes of proceedings, the process changed. It was as if everyone in the room but me had been informed that a new dance had started. All at once, 9 and 12 items at a time were being brought up and adopted. And suddenly our item was approved with several others in less than 20 seconds. It was done. I wasn’t asked to speak on the item because they did not need (or desire) my input. The important action that we wanted so much had been approved.

The meeting ended and I found myself still sitting on that padded pew like bench. I wanted to high-five someone, but everyone was leaving. I gathered my things, noted that the entire meeting had taken less than 50 minutes, and went out into the steamy, Pensacola evening. As I called John to share the good news, I felt a little cheated.

Well, let’s talk about something else.

Did you ever read the story about the couple getting engaged? The man put the engagement ring into the crystal goblet, expecting his sweetheart to notice the shiny diamond at the bottom of the cup, only to be stunned when she drank down the entire contents of the glass – ring included. I have no doubt that the girl was embarrassed as they walked into the ER to talk about retrieval “options.” But, the guy had to be shocked too. His big, romantic plan had been ruined in a single gulp.

You may have a similar story.

– The carefully selected Christmas gift that was put to the side as soon as they opened it. It was over so fast that you weren’t even sure that they knew what it was.

– The Thanksgiving dinner that looked like it should be featured in “Southern Living” and was eaten during the commercials of “the” football game.

– The lights for the house that, at the store, were promised to dance across the roofline and now only blinked at you from the garage side.

Well, let’s agree to laugh those off this year. Let’s enjoy the journey and not put so much effort into the glitter and smoked turkey. Let’s not try so hard to buy the perfect gift or sing the perfect solo or put the bike together on Christmas Eve. Let’s decide that it really is all about that warm hug, her kind smile, his happy giggle, and that silent night so very, very long ago.

Rest easy, My Friend, “Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord.” (Psalm 31:24)

Love, Jill (just one of God’s kids)

How did it get to be November 5^th already? I planned all year to start the “We Gather Together” series on November 1^st. What on earth have I been doing? Why can I not “get it together?” How can I ever encourage others if I cannot get myself on track? Aaaaaaak!!

Now, before you pick up that phone and dial my number, I am fine; I am not depressed; I am not even worried. But, I do need to explain myself.

On Sunday, November 1^st, I had a posting ready to go. Well, it was ready to go in my head. And, as I awoke on Sunday, I found that my head was not operational. Sometime during the night a cold had settled in my chest and sinuses and had robbed me of the possibility of doing any thinking. Yep, my plans for November 1 stayed locked in a brain and body which had been overtaken by a tiny, little bug.

When I woke on Monday, I knew that I needed to get to my computer ASAP. But, other activities crept in and my writing schedule was delayed. Soon, a battle waged between my plan and the overpowering forces of the cold and my ever growing “to do” list. Monday was gone before I got this thing done.

I won’t bore you with how I got to this moment in the week. Just know that you have been in my thoughts (and prayers).

Somewhere between the Halloween candy and the New Year’s Day bowl games, we are all going to experience a moment when the plan we have crafted, so very carefully, will not be completed.

• You may find yourself wondering if anyone will know that the angel costume you dressed that sweet child in for the Christmas program was, just a few weeks ago, a ghost costume with a little voice saying “boo.”
• Or, perhaps, if you place the KFC chicken into your own baking pan, smearing the sides of the pan with the drippings from the wax paper, you will fool your in-laws into thinking you can cook.
• And, maybe the early morning sports radio program will give you enough of the highlights of the “big game” that you can join in the conversation at work without having to admit that you slept through the entire second half.

Let’s agree that this year, this holiday season, we will forgive others (and ourselves) for not doing it all. This year, let’s start five days late knowing that it really is all about being thankful, about family, about joy, about mercy, about giving, about fresh starts, about sharing. And, most of all, it is all about love delivered in the form of a frail newborn in a humble stable with the echo of heavenly praises coming from fields guarded by shepherds.

Rest easy, Friend:  “For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.”  (Ecclesiastes 3:1)

In our scripture reading this morning, I noticed a delightful phrase that described when the children of Israel dedicated the second temple in Jerusalem. Most of them came from families that had been forced out of their homes and held captive in a foreign land for 70 years or more. A benevolent foreign leader had allowed them to return to their homeland and rebuild the center of their worship – the house of God. This second temple was not as large nor as precious in building materials, but they were seeking to honor God in their homeland and they were overjoyed when the temple was completed.

Are you ready for the verse? How did they express their joy? Wait for it…..

“The sound of rejoicing in Jerusalem could be heard far away.” (Nehemiah 12:43b, NIV)

Have you ever rejoiced to the point that people far away could hear it? I have!! Some of the conversations, just before the singing and dancing, went a little like this:

– “He’s home; safely back from the war zone.”

– “The cancer is gone. The treatments worked.”

• 
• – “The Royals won the World Series!” (Sorry, that one is from my dream world!)

– “She gave her heart to the Lord.”

– “We found it.”

– “He got a job.”

– “They called last night.”

– “The suffering is over. She went home early this morning.”

– “We paid off the mortgage.”

– “The judge commuted his sentence. He’ll be home in a few days.”

– “God is giving us a little one.”

– “My chains are gone. My heart is free.”

I have no idea who is reading these words. But, be assured that I have prayed for you. May there be shouting in heaven and on earth, celebrating your faithfulness to the path that God has for you.

With God, you can do this!!

“Networking 101” was a great topic for our second uncommon gathering. Too many times we have defined “networking” as being applicable only to business transactions. But, at uncommon, our discussion was based on a freer definition of networking: “cultivating positive relationships.”

We have so many relationships in our lives beyond the business world. Which of those needs to be expanded, deepened, enriched? What about that family member? Or, the friendship that has grown cold and distant? Maybe you are involved in a not-for-profit or ministry endeavor. Would cultivating relationships make a difference there?

“Cultivation” doesn’t mean you have to dig into the dirt, although farming is a great model of relationship building. We begin by deciding what it is we want to grow.

– What is the purpose of your networking? Why do you want to grow a specific relationship?

The second act of farming is to plant seed. I have been a pretty good demonstration of what not to do in starting new relationships. At times I have come off too distant and other times I have probably appeared to be stalker-like. I’m getting better at having a balanced approach, but it is still awkward for me. Unfortunately, the best way to improve a skill is to study and to practice it. And, because the end result of the networking is important, I work to improve.

– Have you made that phone call or proffered that invitation to coffee yet? How about starting gently with “likes” on Facebook?

The third step, and this is the tricky one, is to nourish and tend the relationship. For some situations, this is easy and, for others, not so much. You’re on your own here. My suggestion is that more contact is better than less. And, frequent non-threatening encounters and conversations are worth more than you might imagine. Just keep at it. Even when you think that the other person is not being responsive, there may be walls coming down that you cannot see. Keep cultivating. Keep encouraging.

Then, there is the harvest; fruit appears and then increases.  Everyone benefits.

Networking is deliberate and purposeful. It doesn’t happen by chance. It takes time and energy and a tough skin at times. But, oh, are the benefits worth the effort!!

“The sweet smell of incense can make you feel good, but true friendship is better still.” (Proverbs 27:9)

This week was the first “gathering” of uncommon. And, I feel lighter and heavier all at the same time. Uncommon has captured my attention and this first meeting reminded me of both the opportunities and hard work ahead.

For some time, I have taught a Wednesday morning Bible study. That group of ladies and those weekly sessions have been such a blessing to me. But, earlier this year, it became clear to me that I needed to start a new path. This Wednesday, instead of our usual Bible study of ladies, we opened our hearts and our schedules to a new thing – uncommon.

The word “uncommon” means “out of the ordinary” or “rare.” I want to live an uncommon life. I want to make a difference for Christ. When my time on this earth is ended, I want the world to be better for my granddaughters and their families. It is time for me to step up and to step out.

My goal is to provide a weekly session, focused on a secular topic, rich with content and information that fosters and promotes networking and local businesses and service people. Uncommon is Christian but it isn’t church and it isn’t a club. It is a community, a gathering, a safe place. It is open to anyone and everyone. We want to inform, to inspire, to unite, to encourage and to motivate.

This week, our topic at uncommon was “9/11 and Friends.” Do you remember our nation right after 9/11? We watched as every available member of Congress met on the steps of the Capital building, said the Pledge of Allegience and sang “God Bless America.” We watched our President stand on top of a flattened fire truck and reassure us that America stood strong. We took care to thank members of our police forces and fire stations and armed forces. And, we watched out for each other. I remember feeling safer than I had felt in my life. Those days were truly uncommon.

And, during this week’s uncommon gathering, we listened as RADM Gary and Tammy Jones told their uncommon story of 9/11. It was such a blessing to learn of those who stood up for America; a human shield of protection around our U.S. military bases half-way around the world from New York and Washington DC and Pennsylvania. My eyes tear up even now as I think of their story.

So, who has stood up for you? Who has taken your side? Who has put themselves at risk to make sure that you are safe, that you were protected, that you continue to walk on this earth? This week, a sweet 12 year old told me about bullies at her school. I reminded her of Jesus’ life – how He stood up for those who had no one else. And, I thought of my choice: to be a bully (through action or silence) or to stand up for others. My 12 year old friend has a choice and so do I.

Live an uncommon life – Take a stand – Make a difference.

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Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?” And I said, “Here am I. Send me!” (Isaiah 6:8)

It was pretty embarrassing. We had just sat down at our table in the restaurant when our server pointed to my arm and said, “Ma’am, it looks like you have been hurt.” I looked and there, running down my forearm, was a stream of blood. Paper napkins were pushed my way and I tried to clean up without attracting any more attention.

The “wound” wasn’t a big deal. A thorny vine had scratched me while working in the yard; and, I had taken some extra aspirin earlier that afternoon. A little bump irritated the scratch and the bleeding started.

But, it reminded me that it is time for me to start wearing long sleeves to church. I love working outside and we have lots of vines with thorns; I usually have several long scratches on my arms after a couple of hours fighting vines. Often, people will see one of those “wounds” and get concerned. It is pretty pitiful to hear me try to explain that my lack of expertise coupled with my unbridled enthusiasm at fighting vines caused the bloodletting. Covering up is just easier.

Some scars I don’t bother to cover, but I don’t call attention to them either. My four scars from shoulder surgeries are easily seen. It is interesting to identify those who have had similar surgeries as they look at the scars and then nod with an understanding smile.

It is unusual for someone to point out their scar to you. But, when that happens, it is often something to celebrate. I loved seeing the “zipper” on a friend’s chest; that scar was the result of heart surgery that gave my friend so many more precious days on this earth. And, the young children who show off their boo-boo’s are adorable.

Sometimes people show us their scars from hurts long ago. You know what I mean – that dear one who goes out of their way to share how they were hurt by someone years ago. In spite of the time that has passed, their scar is raw, bleeding, and painful. There may be nothing that we can do to foster healing. And we are tempted, like Job’s friends, to speak words out of frustration and our desire to “sort things out” or to “fix it.” Or, we may be tempted to try to cover up the wound, to silence the stories, to put a bandage on the bleed.   But, our words and our attempts to cover the scar do nothing to end the pain. We may achieve the silence we desire, but that dear one is still hurting.

Consider following the example of Jeremiah who said: “I am hurt because my people are hurt. I am filled with sorrow, and fear has taken hold of me.” (Jeremiah 8:24)

When dealing with the scars of others, maybe just being there for them, hurting with them, listening to them and loving them, are the best things we can do.

I have a new 12 year old friend; she is a delight. On most Sundays and Wednesdays, we get to spend about an hour in the car together; just the two of us.

A few weeks ago, as she got into my car, I asked her how her day had been. Her reply was a huge smile and one word: “GREAT.” She said it with gusto and excitement. As we discussed her day, it all sounded fine, but, to be honest, I didn’t hear a whole lot of “great” in her list of activities. She then asked me how my day had gone. I smiled and replied, “It was a good day.” She didn’t reply; it was clear that she was thinking hard about what she would say next.

And then she chastised me by saying something like: “You shouldn’t say that your day was ‘good.’ ‘Good’ sounds like it was only OK; that it really wasn’t very exciting. You should reply that your day was ‘GREAT’ because every day is great…Well, almost every day is great. We have so much to be thankful for that we ought to say that our days are ‘GREAT’ days.”

She looked at me. I could tell that her speech had been made with the full understanding that I might not like what she had said. In previous conversations she had shared a little about her life. Her home current home situation is positive and she is doing well but that has not always been the case. She has medical problems that were caused before she was born – results of selfish acts of a parent. She has had social and educational challenges that are not of her own doing. She has a tiny body, smaller than most 12 year olds, and a small voice to match it. But, boy is her heart huge!!

I could tell that her passionate speech was from her heart. She believes in “GREAT” days not just “good” days.

I replied quickly and told her that she was absolutely right. My day had been a GREAT day!

• I am a Christian, loved by God and known to Him by name.
• I am an American, living in freedom and wealth.
• I have people in my life care about me.

My days are not just “good”– they are “GREAT” days!!

I have replayed her speech in my mind so many times since that afternoon. Her voice was stronger than her body; her wisdom was more valuable than a paycheck; and, her mind and heart were absolutely confident that each day she has is a GREAT day.

Tomorrow is Monday:

• Decide now.
• Purpose in your heart.
• Commit to saying, to believing, that your days are not just good days but that they are GREAT days.

Let’s learn this simple lesson from my young friend.

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“The people brought children to Jesus, hoping he might touch them. The disciples shooed them off. But Jesus was irate and let them know it: “Don’t push these children away. Don’t ever get between them and me. These children are at the very center of life in the kingdom. Mark this: Unless you accept God’s kingdom in the simplicity of a child, you’ll never get in.” Then, gathering the children up in his arms, he laid his hands of blessing on them.” Mark 10:13-16

OK, this isn’t hard. It’s something that we all learned in school (or, should have learned in school). Memorial Day is Monday and we need to remember what we do when we display or see the American flag.

First, the colors of the flag mean something. White symbolizes purity and innocence. Red stands for courage, hardiness and valor. And, blue represents vigilance, justice and freedom. The fifty stars (for the fifty states) remind us to look upward, beyond our circumstances.  And, the stripes (representing the first 13 states) let us never forget that others have stood on the battlefield for us. Bottom line – the American flag, our flag, my flag isn’t simply a decoration with colors selected at random.

Second, a display of our flag should never be trivial or for commercial purposes. The American flag, our flag, my flag is to be flown with respect and thought. It is displayed with care. We don’t let it touch things below it like the ground, the floor, water or merchandise. We place it at the most respected position among other flags. We keep it in good condition: never allowing it to be marked on or flown with tears or tatters.

Third, we respect it when it comes into our presence. We stand. We face our flag. We remove our hats. We stand still and silently. We put right hands over our hearts with our left hand staying still at our side. If we are in a public place and hear through the loud speaker that the flag is entering or we hear the beginning of our national anthem, we stop what we are doing and we show respect for our flag, even though it is beyond our line of sight. We respect our flag and we honor those who have fought for the freedom it represents.

And, we teach these courtesies to others. We model what we teach.

It isn’t easy. It doesn’t take a lot of time. But, it is important.

When I see our flag I think of old men with tattered ball caps held tightly against their chests. I think of flag draped caskets of those who have served. I think of young children learning to say the pledge of allegiance. And, I think of Moms, tears welling up in their eyes, as the flag is carried past them. I think of Boy Scouts struggling to carry a flag on a heavy pole. And, I think of three granddaughters singing our National Anthem. I think of America.

During this weekend, as you see our flag, would you take a moment and say a prayer that Americans will never stop taking the time to respect “Old Glory”? And, if you are like me, the tears will come and you will renew again your commitment to respecting the symbols that cost others their lives to give us our liberty.

Our freedom was paid for by others. We cannot fail to protect it for the next generation.