Daily Archives: December 23, 2014

Boundaries

fencing 3We got a big section of our fencing project completed yesterday – Yay!! For the past couple of months, we have been installing a three-rail, split-rail fence across the front of our property. (Enjoy the pics!!) The new fence establishes our property line, provides some security and it looks really good.

fencing 5 (2)An old saying comes to mind, “good fences make good neighbors.” Fences establish boundaries.

Our new fence is permanent. The posts go deep and there is a good amount of concrete anchoring the posts. Our hope is that it will be across the front of our property for many, many years.

During the holidays, boundaries can be good things. There are some areas of our lives that should be off limits to others. For instance, these questions are rarely appropriate:

  • Is he is “the one?”
  • When do you two plan to give us some grandchildren?
  • How much weight have you gained?
  • The promotion sounds great; what’s your salary now?
  • Have you considered cosmetic surgery?
  • Any idea how much your estate will be worth?
  • Did you ask your barber for that haircut?

See? A few permanent boundaries are good for our relationships!

On the other hand, some temporary fences aren’t a bad idea either. How about these:

  • Waiting for a few months before asking to be house guests at the newlywed’s home.
  • Asking sick friends to stay at least an arm’s length away from the baby.
  • Being sensitive to your friend when your team beats theirs in the “big game.”

I realize that there are some things that we cannot endorse. And, I have a feeling that our friends and family already know our views about those issues. We should never fail to give an answer when asked. But, what about when we have not been asked? What about when the subject won’t come up if we don’t raise it? When in doubt about what to say, send up a silent SOS to the Lord.

This year, let’s respect boundaries that our friends and family have established. You may not think that those boundaries are appropriate, but a little discretion, especially during the holidays, could be good thing!

“Let your foot be seldom in your neighbor’s house, lest he have his fill of you and hate you.” (Proverbs 25:17)