Today is our 24^th wedding anniversary. Yay!!   What an interesting time that was so long ago. (I have added three silly bonus stories at the end of today’s article. They make the posting really long, so read them or not – your choice.)

In October of 2012, John and I had gone to his class reunion at the Naval Academy when we found ourselves wandering through shops in Annapolis, Maryland. At some point, he asked me what I would like for an engagement ring. It was clear to us that we were going to get married, but he had not officially “asked” me. Our plan was to get married right after I graduated from Florida State University with my doctorate and just before he started a long Navy deployment that would include stops in places we wanted to visit as a married couple. At the end of our weekend in Annapolis, he returned to San Diego where he was stationed and I returned to Pensacola, Florida where I lived.

During a phone call the next week, I began to share a little more about what kind of an engagement ring I would like when John said calmly, “You input is no longer required.” I was a little shocked and very embarrassed. My inside voice was shouting, “HE BOUGHT ME A RING!! WE ARE GETTING MARRIED!!” My outside voice said something like, “Oh, OK.”

We made our plans quietly. I found flights to bring our parents to Pensacola, made arrangements with a chaplain friend, and booked the chapel. We planned to have a private ceremony in time for John to leave on his long deployment; we would do something more official and public later. My Mom sent her wedding gown to me (I had always wanted to wear it) and in a single afternoon I bought a veil and my bride’s bouquet (silks) and drafted a wedding announcement.

And, then John called me with bad news. He didn’t provide lots of details – I was used to that – John is a submariner, they don’t give lots of details. Bottom line, we could not get married in the place or on the day that we planned. He said that we needed to get married in San Diego and he gave a range of dates. My planning started over.

Soon it was THE WEEK.

I arrived in San Diego on Tuesday before Thanksgiving. John proposed to me and put a beautiful engagement ring on my left hand. (WE WERE ENGAGED!!) We immediately headed to get our blood tests done and our wedding license purchased. The next day we talked with the chaplain who was subbing for the chaplain whom we had scheduled. Then it was Thanksgiving Day and the day before our wedding. We had five family members who flew in that day so Thanksgiving dinner was a salad at the San Diego airport. And, our supper that evening was chicken on the grill.

Our wedding day (the Friday after Thanksgiving) was amazing. It was perfect and over so very, very quickly. We had a beautiful ceremony in the NAS North Island chapel; there were eleven people at the ceremony; and, I wore my Mom’s wedding gown as I promised to love John forever and ever. After a sweet evening meal with the small group of family with us, we set our alarm clock. My sister and folks had an early flight the next morning and we wanted to drive them to the airport to see them off. John’s folks stayed several more days and then they were gone.

We were married. It was crazy and amazing and wonderful. And, John left for what was later called “Desert Storm” less than two weeks after our wedding ceremony.

As I think about it now, I know that we did it our way. No other couple would have been married in this crazy way – only us. As you reflect on your “gatherings” of past years, rejoice in the fact that your experiences are unique. You have been blessed with memories that no other person or family has. If you can, take a minute to make a quick call to someone you love and do a “do you remember the year…?” time of rejoicing. Our memories can help us to bind family and friends together in love.

Happy anniversary, Darling!!

The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.  (Genesis 2:23-24)

++++++

Silly Story 1: When we arrived at the government building where marriage licenses were issued, we found that the line to get a marriage license was very long; we might be waiting for an hour or more. As we stood there, we noticed that the line next to us was much shorter. In the end, we stayed in the marriage license line, but we were pretty tempted to move over to the “Register an Alias” line! (Only in California!!)

Silly Story 2: Because we had limited time, we had our blood tests completed at a lab that promised “express service” for an extra $50. It was while we were sitting in the hallway of the medical building that I realized that I needed to “fess up” to John. You see I had been diagnosed with a medical condition many years before meeting John. He knew all about my health issues but I had never told him that the literature indicated that a blood test might give a “false positive” result for syphilis. As I shared this information with him, we both got the giggles. How would the medical tech share the results with us: Would I be called into another room? Would John be called into another room? Would we still get a marriage license? In the end, it must have all been fine because they gave us the right paperwork and we got our license.

Silly Story 3: The chaplain (a Navy Captain) we had talked with about performing the ceremony called us at the last minute and told us that a family emergency had called him away; he made arrangements for another chaplain (a Navy Lieutenant) to perform the ceremony. A couple of days before the ceremony we met with the Lieutenant to work out details. As we started talking through ceremony options (e.g. taking communion or not, wording of the marriage vows, etc.), the Lieutenant would turn to John with each decision and ask something like, “Sir, Is that what you desire?” After this had happened a few times, I started laughing and accused the Chaplain of being a fraud; I was concerned that I was the victim of two sailors working out some kind of pretend marriage ceremony scam. John laughed with me but I think that the Lieutenant was either a little offended or afraid of me. Poor guy, here he was being appropriate to the rank structure and I was giving him a hard time!!

{John writing – attested: the above “silly” stories are true, to the best of our recollections; if not, they should be.} Love you too, Sweetie.

Today I encourage you to do a self-assessment. Consider this posting as an opportunity to reflect. And, if you are not a person of faith, rest assured that you will benefit from the process.

I wrote an odd email on Christmas Eve of 2012. It was difficult and humbling and challenging and one of the best things that I have done. You see, for over 40 years I had had a boss. That boss both directed and evaluated my work. I was accountable to them for my time and my effort. Then it all changed when I retired from federal service. About two months later, I sent the email.

The email asked several women in my life to serve as my new “boss.” As unnatural as it sounds, I asked them to hold me accountable to what I believed I was supposed to do. Although I have never named them in public (and won’t do so now), I sing their praises often. By receiving my email reports, providing feedback when they think it is helpful, and by always lifting me up in prayer, they help me to stay faithful to my goals.

My relationship with John (my Sweetie) also has accountability aspects but in different areas and in different ways than does my relationship with these amazing women of faith.

On this November Saturday, let’s take a few moments and conduct a personal accountability check. Using John Wesley’s 21 questions, we can evaluate our own spiritual progress and our actions of this past week. Don’t be discouraged – remember in every step of our faith, there is room for improvement, for growth.

1. Am I consciously or unconsciously creating the impression that I am better than I am? In other words, am I a hypocrite?
2. Am I honest in all my acts and words, or do I exaggerate?
3. Do I confidentially pass onto another what was told me in confidence?
4. Am I a slave to dress, friends, work, or habits?
5. Am I self-conscious, self-pitying, or self-justifying?
6. Did the Bible live in me today?
7. Do I give it (the Bible) time to speak to me every day?
8. Am I enjoying prayer?
9. When did I last speak to someone about my faith?
10. Do I pray about the money I spend?
11. Do I get to bed on time and get up on time?
12. Do I disobey God in anything?
13. Do I insist upon doing something about which my conscience is uneasy?
14. Am I defeated in any part of my life?
15. Am I jealous, impure, critical, irritable, touchy or distrustful?
16. How do I spend my spare time?
17. Am I proud?
18. Do I thank God that I am not as other people, especially as the Pharisee who despised the publican?
19. Is there anyone whom I fear, dislike, disown, criticize, hold resentment toward or disregard? If so, what am I going to do about it?
20. Do I grumble and complain constantly?
21. Is Christ real to me?

It is good for us to reflect. My own self-evaluation noted that I have lots of room for improvement. Time to get at it!!

Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. (2 Corinthians 13:5)

It happens sometime and it happened this past Wednesday morning. Some of you will understand exactly what I mean; others will have never had the experience and will wonder if it is possible. Let me assure you, God does move in mysterious ways!

In John’s closet were several pairs of coveralls. None of them was useful to us anymore and so I put them into the back of the Explorer, intending to stop by the local Goodwill store to donate them. The coveralls are in good shape and will be great for anyone who needs them and can fit into them.

But I haven’t been able to find time to stop by Goodwill. After a few days, I wondered if I wasn’t supposed to leave them there. I began to pray. It wasn’t a big deal, I didn’t worry about the coveralls, but I wanted to do what God wanted me to do. I thought that perhaps I should offer them to our church’s homeless ministry. The PCN Hands and Feet (H&F) ministry helps so many people, mainly men. I intended to contact one of the H&F team members, but I kept forgetting to write the email or text. Again, I wondered if God had a specific plan for these coveralls.

On Wednesday mornng, I stopped by the local convenience store to get a Diet Coke. As I stood in line, the man in front of me caught my attention. He was an older gentleman who worked with his hands and his back. He was wearing coveralls, but unlike the ones I had in the Explorer, his were the ones made for cold weather. He finished his purchase of bananas and snack cakes and a single cup of coffee:   I thought he might be buying snacks for several people.

As he left the store and I finished my purchase, I could not get him out of my mind. As I headed to my vehicle, I almost called out to him. But, he was walking away from me and I didn’t know what to say.

I got into the Explorer and a thought came to me, “Give him the coveralls.” What? Was that God speaking to me? I felt a little embarrassed. I had already had two opportunities to talk with the man and had said nothing. Wouldn’t it be odd for me to go to him a third time?

As I pulled out of the parking space, I could see him stash the snacks on the passenger’s side of his work truck. Behind the truck was a big trailer with pool installation/repair materials and tools. It was only 30 degrees; I could not imagine working on a pool in this weather.

And, so I did it. I pulled my vehicle up next to his and stopped. I got out and popped open the back door. He looked at me and I smiled at him and said, “I have some of my husband’s old coveralls. We don’t them and I wondered if you knew of anyone who could use them? I just need to give them away.” His face was radiant and even his voice seemed to smile as he replied, “Yes, Ma’am. Thank you so much.” I handed the clothes to him and we said our goodbyes. And, then, I added “God bless” and his smile got even bigger.

As I returned the Explorer, it felt as if the vehicle was filled with the presence of God. I broke out in praise and thanked God for letting me be part of a blessing. I have no idea if those coveralls will make a difference in anyone else’s life, but they did in mine.

When God says, “Go” – go. When God says, “Give” – give. When God says, “Trust me” – trust Him. When God says, “Fear not” – Stop fearing!!

Paul spoke for me when he wrote: “I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus!” (Philippians 1:3-6)

Don’t hesitate to do work that God sets before you!

Thanksgiving is only a week away. Have you looked around to see if someone needs to be invited to share the holiday with you? Let me explain why.

Pensacola is a military town. We have many who are miles away from home. So, inviting a young military person to join in for a holiday is common. But, this sailor visit to a family Thanksgiving was very unusual.

I knew a Navy Lieutenant. After the Thanksgiving holiday, I asked him if he, his wife and two young children had had a nice holiday. His answer surprised me.

This Navy family attended the base chapel church services. One Sunday, while he was out of town on Navy business, his wife and kids went to church without him. It was during the worship service that his wife noticed an older man who was also worshiping alone; she approached him during the point in the service when attendees were encouraged to greet one another and asked about his plans for Thanksgiving. He quietly explained that their family had been blessed with a new granddaughter and that his wife was with their daughter and son-in-law helping them adjust to living with a newborn. Unfortunately, Navy duties required that the man remain in Pensacola and he planned to have a quiet dinner, at home, alone.

The Navy wife did what Navy wives do: she invited this “geographic bachelor” to Thanksgiving dinner at their home. When she explained to her spouse that they would be having a guest at the table, her husband was shocked. You see, the older gentleman was an active duty Vice Admiral. He was far above her husband in the chain of command and the Lieutenant was worried that his wife had breached some standard of protocol and that their humble dinner would not be a grand enough dinner for the Boss. The wife replied that all would be fine; she was not worried. By the way, the Admiral would be bringing the pumpkin pie.

Thanksgiving Day arrived and at the appropriate hour, there was a knock on their door. Their apartment was nice, but not very large. As the Lieutenant greeted the Admiral at the door, there were two minor emergencies: one in the kitchen involving meal preparation and the other had to do with their four-month old son. The Lieutenant explained and hurried away. Both emergencies took longer than expected and so it was about 15 minutes before the Lieutenant made it back to the living room. The scene surprised him. The Admiral and the family’s three-year-old daughter were sitting on the floor, playing with dolls. The Admiral looked up and asked if there was something that they needed for him to do. When the Lieutenant replied, “no, we’re fine,” the Admiral smiled and the two went back to playing.

Dinner was ready an hour after the Admiral had arrived; he and the daughter had spent the entire time playing with her dolls. The turkey was great and the two side dishes were wonderful. When it was time to serve the pie, the baby began to fuss. The Admiral asked if he might hold the child and the couple said “of course.” And, the gentleman enjoyed dessert, gentling rocking the boy as they shared stories of Thanksgiving passed.

The couple refused his offer to help with the dishes and the Admiral gathered up his things, preparing to go. Before leaving, he took the wife’s hands into his and spent a couple of moments explaining how precious the day was for him. Although he could not hold his new granddaughter on that day, he had held their son. And, his time with their daughter had taught him many things about dolls; knowledge that would come in handy as his granddaughter grew older. After a quick hug of the wife and daughter and a hearty handshake with the Lieutenant, the Admiral was gone.

It is not just the young who need a friend. Sometimes those who inspire us need an invitation too.

“Dear friend, when you extend hospitality to Christian brothers and sisters, even when they are strangers, you make the faith visible.” (3 John 1:8)

(First, I apologize for the duplications in yesterday’s post.  It was a hot mess that shouldn’t happen again!)

As I was thinking about the title of this series, “We Gather Together 14,” I couldn’t help but think about the topic John is addressing with his adult Sunday School class.

They are studying the Kings of Israel. It’s a great review of the Old Testament and includes lots of exciting people and their stories. But, one of the phrases that the Bible uses regarding these individuals is “he was gathered to his people.” Nope, it doesn’t mean that the individual went to a family potluck, it means that he died. We don’t use that phrase today. Have you seen a notice in the obituaries that begins, “John Doe was gathered to his people last Friday following a vehicle crash on Nine Mile Road.”

We use different words today. But, we still have to talk about death from time-to-time.

When my father-in-law passed away (he was a saint of the Lord and an amazing man!), I got to see death through my granddaughters’ eyes. The girls were very, very young and had had a wonderful visit with their great-grandparents and us just a few months before he died. The girls felt comfortable in their great-grandparents’ apartment, the place where the family was meeting. That first evening, I saw them playing what looked like a new game. One girl would lie down on the couch and the other two would pick her up by her hands and feet. The two “carriers” would then place the first girl on the floor between the couch and the coffee table and then move their arms around. I went to them and whispered, “What are you doing, Girls?” Their quick reply was made from smiling faces, “We’re playing dead.” Yep, one was pretending to be dead while the other two conducted a burial. It was hilarious, but not something that I wanted my dear mother-in-law to see and so we found another game to play!

The next day, at the grave yard, one of the girls was sobbing at her mother’s side. The relatives and friends all smiled and commented how sweet it was that this little child missed her great grandfather so much. I stepped close to my daughter-in-law and whispered, “What’s going on?” This amazing mom looked at me and whispered, “She’s upset that I won’t let her run around the headstones.” Again, I found that these young girls had their own unique view of the situation.

I was single for many years of my life and did not want my family to have questions as to what I would want them to do if it looked like I was going to die. So, every year during the holidays, I would explain to my parents (the ones who would have to make any arrangements should I “be gathered to my people”) that:

• I am cheap. Do not do crazy things to let me live another 15 minutes. Be reasonable with doing anything special just to keep me around.
• Some of my body parts, particularly my muscles and brain, have been used only a few times and a few still have the tissue paper on them. Give away everything that someone else can use.
• But, don’t give away my whole body. (I’ve see way to many stupid movies and TV shows for that to be allowed.)
• I have a place to go. My reservation is paid for. Do not keep me here when I could be there. (But, there is no need to hurry my passing either!)

Yep, I do have somewhere to go. My family has no doubt that Jesus paid for my reservation and I accepted His free gift years ago. My daily desire is to live doing the will of my Heavenly Father.

Too often families gather together only when death is approaching.  It’s not just sad, it’s wrong. With today’s technology, we can be with others without spending a fortune on an airplane ticket or taking four days off of work. Let’s use this holiday season to get with someone before we see them at the funeral. Today spend 45 minutes on the phone, or send an email, or write a letter letting that loved one know that you care.

And, if you need to “have the talk” (about your desires should you be close to death) with yourself or your loved ones, why not do it now? Share how you feel, what you want, what is important to you. And, if you need to have a “practice conversation” with someone, let me know (carlajillstein@yahoo.com).  I’ll be your pretend family for a little while. And, I promise that I won’t “play dead” in your living room!

“Then Abraham breathed his last and died at a good old age, an old man and full of years; and he was gathered to his people.” Genesis 25:8

Twenty-three years ago today, Terry Waite, an envoy for the Church of England was released after being held hostage in Lebanon for almost five years by Shiite Muslims. For the first four years in captivity, he was kept alone, usually blindfolded and chained to a radiator, subjected to mock executions and beatings. When moved from place to place, he was wrapped in masking tape, blindfolded and put into the trunk of a car. His family did not know if he was dead or alive until a few months before he was released. This man of faith entered Lebanon on a Christian mission, serving his church as negotiator to release hostages. And, although he had been successful many times in the past, this time the captors decided that he was an agent of the CIA, violated the agreement that they had with his church and took him prisoner.

That same year, Terry Anderson, an American journalist held hostage by Islamic terrorists for 2,454 days, was released.

I will never forget an interview with Mr. Anderson that was conducted several years after his release. He still possessed the blindfold that he was forced to wear on the day he was released. During the interview, the reporter held the blindfold and talked about the torture Mr. Anderson suffered; it was horrific and sad. And, then the interviewer handed the blindfold to Mr. Anderson and asked him to hold it to his face as if he were again blindfolded. When the request was made, I winced. Surely, she had not just ask him to wear that horrible piece of cloth. He looked shocked and then he quietly said that he would not do what she had asked.

In 2009, Mr. Anderson returned to Beirut to teach. In 2012, Mr. Waite returned to Beirut on a mission of forgiveness. How can that be??

Let me share a story from the life of Paul. He and Silas were preaching. Someone didn’t like what they did and the local officials decided to quash the angry crowd. The two preachers were stripped and beaten. The feet were put into stocks and they were thrown into prison. But, rather than curse those who treated them badly the two men prayed and sang hymns to God. When their escape would have been easy, they stayed put, and encouraged the jailer and his family to seek God. You can read the whole story at https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=acts+16%3A20-40&version=NIV

Twenty-three years ago today, Terry Waite, an envoy for the Church of England was released after being held hostage in Lebanon for almost five years by Shiite Muslims. For the first four years in captivity, he was kept alone, usually blindfolded and chained to a radiator, subjected to mock executions and beatings. When moved from place to place, he was wrapped in masking tape, blindfolded and put into the trunk of a car. His family did not know if he was dead or alive until a few months before he was released. This man of faith entered Lebanon on a Christian mission, serving his church as negotiator to release hostages. And, although he had been successful many times in the past, this time the captors decided that he was an agent of the CIA, violated the agreement that they had with his church and took him prisoner.

That same year, Terry Anderson, an American journalist held hostage by Islamic terrorists for 2,454 days, was released.

I will never forget an interview with Mr. Anderson that was conducted several years after his release. He still possessed the blindfold that he was forced to wear on the day he was released. During the interview, the reporter held the blindfold and talked about the torture Mr. Anderson suffered; it was horrific and sad. And, then the interviewer handed the blindfold to Mr. Anderson and asked him to hold it to his face as if he were again blindfolded. When the request was made, I winced. Surely, she had not just ask him to wear that horrible piece of cloth. He looked shocked and then he quietly said that he would not do what she had asked.

In 2009, Mr. Anderson returned to Beirut to teach. In 2012, Mr. Waite returned to Beirut on a mission of forgiveness. How can that be??

Let me share a story from the life of Paul. He and Silas were preaching. Someone didn’t like what they did and the local officials decided to quash the angry crowd. The two preachers were stripped and beaten. The feet were put into stocks and they were thrown into prison. But, rather than curse those who treated them badly the two men prayed and sang hymns to God. When their escape would have been easy, they stayed put, and encouraged the jailer and his family to seek God. You can read the whole story at https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=acts+16%3A20-40&version=NIV

There is no guarantee that we will be given justice in this life. Mr. Waite was on a religious mission, Mr. Anderson was a reporter, Paul and Silas were preaching the gospel when they were taken prisoner. But, none spent the rest of their lives seeking revenge. After they were released, they lived as free men. They no longer wore the garb, the shame of the prisoner. And, they sought peace with those who had intentionally done them harm.

Has someone in your circle been held captive by a relationship, a habit, a past life? They may be struggling in ways that we will never understand or perhaps even know. But, we can hold them close; we can present to them the gift of unconditional love. Don’t ask them to wear old prison garb, to retell stories of their past; instead, encourage them with God’s hope. You may not have been able to save them from their yesterdays; but, you can be there for them today and for tomorrow.

But God will never forget the needy; the hope of the afflicted will never perish. (Psalm 9:18)

Twenty-three years ago today, Terry Waite, an envoy for the Church of England was released after being held hostage in Lebanon for almost five years by Shiite Muslims. For the first four years in captivity, he was kept alone, usually blindfolded and chained to a radiator, subjected to mock executions and beatings. When moved from place to place, he was wrapped in masking tape, blindfolded and put into the trunk of a car. His family did not know if he was dead or alive until a few months before he was released. This man of faith entered Lebanon on a Christian mission, serving his church as negotiator to release hostages. And, although he had been successful many times in the past, this time the captors decided that he was an agent of the CIA, violated the agreement that they had with his church and took him prisoner.

That same year, Terry Anderson, an American journalist held hostage by Islamic terrorists for 2,454 days, was released.

I will never forget an interview with Mr. Anderson that was conducted several years after his release. He still possessed the blindfold that he was forced to wear on the day he was released. During the interview, the reporter held the blindfold and talked about the torture Mr. Anderson suffered; it was horrific and sad. And, then the interviewer handed the blindfold to Mr. Anderson and asked him to hold it to his face as if he were again blindfolded. When the request was made, I winced. Surely, she had not just ask him to wear that horrible piece of cloth. He looked shocked and then he quietly said that he would not do what she had asked.

In 2009, Mr. Anderson returned to Beirut to teach. In 2012, Mr. Waite returned to Beirut on a mission of forgiveness. How can that be??

Let me share a story from the life of Paul. He and Silas were preaching. Someone didn’t like what they did and the local officials decided to quash the angry crowd. The two preachers were stripped and beaten. The feet were put into stocks and they were thrown into prison. But, rather than curse those who treated them badly the two men prayed and sang hymns to God. When their escape would have been easy, they stayed put, and encouraged the jailer and his family to seek God. You can read the whole story at https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=acts+16%3A20-40&version=NIV

There is no guarantee that we will be given justice in this life. Mr. Waite was on a religious mission, Mr. Anderson was a reporter, Paul and Silas were preaching the gospel when they were taken prisoner. But, none spent the rest of their lives seeking revenge. After they were released, they lived as free men. They no longer wore the garb, the shame of the prisoner. And, they sought peace with those who had intentionally done them harm.

Has someone in your circle been held captive by a relationship, a habit, a past life? They may be struggling in ways that we will never understand or perhaps even know. But, we can hold them close; we can present to them the gift of unconditional love. Don’t ask them to wear old prison garb, to retell stories of their past; instead, encourage them with God’s hope. You may not have been able to save them from their yesterdays; but, you can be there for them today and for tomorrow.

But God will never forget the needy; the hope of the afflicted will never perish. (Psalm 9:18)

Twenty-three years ago today, Terry Waite, an envoy for the Church of England was released after being held hostage in Lebanon for almost five years by Shiite Muslims. For the first four years in captivity, he was kept alone, usually blindfolded and chained to a radiator, subjected to mock executions and beatings. When moved from place to place, he was wrapped in masking tape, blindfolded and put into the trunk of a car. His family did not know if he was dead or alive until a few months before he was released. This man of faith entered Lebanon on a Christian mission, serving his church as negotiator to release hostages. And, although he had been successful many times in the past, this time the captors decided that he was an agent of the CIA, violated the agreement that they had with his church and took him prisoner.

That same year, Terry Anderson, an American journalist held hostage by Islamic terrorists for 2,454 days, was released.

I will never forget an interview with Mr. Anderson that was conducted several years after his release. He still possessed the blindfold that he was forced to wear on the day he was released. During the interview, the reporter held the blindfold and talked about the torture Mr. Anderson suffered; it was horrific and sad. And, then the interviewer handed the blindfold to Mr. Anderson and asked him to hold it to his face as if he were again blindfolded. When the request was made, I winced. Surely, she had not just ask him to wear that horrible piece of cloth. He looked shocked and then he quietly said that he would not do what she had asked.

In 2009, Mr. Anderson returned to Beirut to teach. In 2012, Mr. Waite returned to Beirut on a mission of forgiveness. How can that be??

Let me share a story from the life of Paul. He and Silas were preaching. Someone didn’t like what they did and the local officials decided to quash the angry crowd. The two preachers were stripped and beaten. The feet were put into stocks and they were thrown into prison. But, rather than curse those who treated them badly the two men prayed and sang hymns to God. When their escape would have been easy, they stayed put, and encouraged the jailer and his family to seek God. You can read the whole story at https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=acts+16%3A20-40&version=NIV

There is no guarantee that we will be given justice in this life. Mr. Waite was on a religious mission, Mr. Anderson was a reporter, Paul and Silas were preaching the gospel when they were taken prisoner. But, none spent the rest of their lives seeking revenge. After they were released, they lived as free men. They no longer wore the garb, the shame of the prisoner. And, they sought peace with those who had intentionally done them harm.

Has someone in your circle been held captive by a relationship, a habit, a past life? They may be struggling in ways that we will never understand or perhaps even know. But, we can hold them close; we can present to them the gift of unconditional love. Don’t ask them to wear old prison garb, to retell stories of their past; instead, encourage them with God’s hope. You may not have been able to save them from their yesterdays; but, you can be there for them today and for tomorrow.

But God will never forget the needy; the hope of the afflicted will never perish. (Psalm 9:18)

Twenty-three years ago today, Terry Waite, an envoy for the Church of England was released after being held hostage in Lebanon for almost five years by Shiite Muslims. For the first four years in captivity, he was kept alone, usually blindfolded and chained to a radiator, subjected to mock executions and beatings. When moved from place to place, he was wrapped in masking tape, blindfolded and put into the trunk of a car. His family did not know if he was dead or alive until a few months before he was released. This man of faith entered Lebanon on a Christian mission, serving his church as negotiator to release hostages. And, although he had been successful many times in the past, this time the captors decided that he was an agent of the CIA, violated the agreement that they had with his church and took him prisoner.

That same year, Terry Anderson, an American journalist held hostage by Islamic terrorists for 2,454 days, was released.

I will never forget an interview with Mr. Anderson that was conducted several years after his release. He still possessed the blindfold that he was forced to wear on the day he was released. During the interview, the reporter held the blindfold and talked about the torture Mr. Anderson suffered; it was horrific and sad. And, then the interviewer handed the blindfold to Mr. Anderson and asked him to hold it to his face as if he were again blindfolded. When the request was made, I winced. Surely, she had not just ask him to wear that horrible piece of cloth. He looked shocked and then he quietly said that he would not do what she had asked.

In 2009, Mr. Anderson returned to Beirut to teach. In 2012, Mr. Waite returned to Beirut on a mission of forgiveness. How can that be??

Let me share a story from the life of Paul. He and Silas were preaching. Someone didn’t like what they did and the local officials decided to quash the angry crowd. The two preachers were stripped and beaten. The feet were put into stocks and they were thrown into prison. But, rather than curse those who treated them badly the two men prayed and sang hymns to God. When their escape would have been easy, they stayed put, and encouraged the jailer and his family to seek God. You can read the whole story at https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=acts+16%3A20-40&version=NIV

There is no guarantee that we will be given justice in this life. Mr. Waite was on a religious mission, Mr. Anderson was a reporter, Paul and Silas were preaching the gospel when they were taken prisoner. But, none spent the rest of their lives seeking revenge. After they were released, they lived as free men. They no longer wore the garb, the shame of the prisoner. And, they sought peace with those who had intentionally done them harm.

Has someone in your circle been held captive by a relationship, a habit, a past life? They may be struggling in ways that we will never understand or perhaps even know. But, we can hold them close; we can present to them the gift of unconditional love. Don’t ask them to wear old prison garb, to retell stories of their past; instead, encourage them with God’s hope. You may not have been able to save them from their yesterdays; but, you can be there for them today and for tomorrow.

But God will never forget the needy; the hope of the afflicted will never perish. (Psalm 9:18)

Twenty-three years ago today, Terry Waite, an envoy for the Church of England was released after being held hostage in Lebanon for almost five years by Shiite Muslims. For the first four years in captivity, he was kept alone, usually blindfolded and chained to a radiator, subjected to mock executions and beatings. When moved from place to place, he was wrapped in masking tape, blindfolded and put into the trunk of a car. His family did not know if he was dead or alive until a few months before he was released. This man of faith entered Lebanon on a Christian mission, serving his church as negotiator to release hostages. And, although he had been successful many times in the past, this time the captors decided that he was an agent of the CIA, violated the agreement that they had with his church and took him prisoner.

That same year, Terry Anderson, an American journalist held hostage by Islamic terrorists for 2,454 days, was released.

I will never forget an interview with Mr. Anderson that was conducted several years after his release. He still possessed the blindfold that he was forced to wear on the day he was released. During the interview, the reporter held the blindfold and talked about the torture Mr. Anderson suffered; it was horrific and sad. And, then the interviewer handed the blindfold to Mr. Anderson and asked him to hold it to his face as if he were again blindfolded. When the request was made, I winced. Surely, she had not just ask him to wear that horrible piece of cloth. He looked shocked and then he quietly said that he would not do what she had asked.

In 2009, Mr. Anderson returned to Beirut to teach. In 2012, Mr. Waite returned to Beirut on a mission of forgiveness. How can that be??

Let me share a story from the life of Paul. He and Silas were preaching. Someone didn’t like what they did and the local officials decided to quash the angry crowd. The two preachers were stripped and beaten. The feet were put into stocks and they were thrown into prison. But, rather than curse those who treated them badly the two men prayed and sang hymns to God. When their escape would have been easy, they stayed put, and encouraged the jailer and his family to seek God. You can read the whole story at https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=acts+16%3A20-40&version=NIV

There is no guarantee that we will be given justice in this life. Mr. Waite was on a religious mission, Mr. Anderson was a reporter, Paul and Silas were preaching the gospel when they were taken prisoner. But, none spent the rest of their lives seeking revenge. After they were released, they lived as free men. They no longer wore the garb, the shame of the prisoner. And, they sought peace with those who had intentionally done them harm.

Has someone in your circle been held captive by a relationship, a habit, a past life? They may be struggling in ways that we will never understand or perhaps even know. But, we can hold them close; we can present to them the gift of unconditional love. Don’t ask them to wear old prison garb, to retell stories of their past; instead, encourage them with God’s hope. You may not have been able to save them from their yesterdays; but, you can be there for them today and for tomorrow.

But God will never forget the needy; the hope of the afflicted will never perish. (Psalm 9:18)

 

There is no guarantee that we will be given justice in this life. Mr. Waite was on a religious mission, Mr. Anderson was a reporter, Paul and Silas were preaching the gospel when they were taken prisoner. But, none spent the rest of their lives seeking revenge. After they were released, they lived as free men. They no longer wore the garb, the shame of the prisoner. And, they sought peace with those who had intentionally done them harm.

Has someone in your circle been held captive by a relationship, a habit, a past life? They may be struggling in ways that we will never understand or perhaps even know. But, we can hold them close; we can present to them the gift of unconditional love. Don’t ask them to wear old prison garb, to retell stories of their past; instead, encourage them with God’s hope. You may not have been able to save them from their yesterdays; but, you can be there for them today and for tomorrow.

But God will never forget the needy; the hope of the afflicted will never perish. (Psalm 9:18)

I had the most delightful holiday surprise when I first had “stuffing” made by John’s mom. It was cooked inside the turkey and consisted of small pieces of bread with cooked sausage, celery, onion, and poultry seasoning. It tasted exactly like the stuffing that my folks have always made and it was delicious.

I found that there can be a great deal of disagreement about stuffing.

1. Is it stuffing or dressing?
2. Does it go inside the turkey or is it cooked in a casserole dish?
3. Is the main ingredient bread crumbs, bread pieces, corn bread, vegetables, oysters or something else?
4. What about chestnuts, apples, shrimp, ham, turnips, pears, mushrooms and rice?
5. Should gravy be added or not?

Bring up the stuffing/dressing subject among cooks and you will find a multitude of differing opinions.

Side dishes at Thanksgiving can also cause fascinating discussions. For instance, are you: a savory sweet potato person; a moderately sweet, sweet potato person; or, a “put so much sugar on top that you impact the economy of Hawaii” sweet potato person?

And, what about cranberries? Yes or no?  Fresh or canned? If you like the canned version: whole cranberries or jelly only?

Shall I continue?

What about pies? Pumpkin? Can we add pecan? What about apple? Whoops. Dutch apple, lattice topped apple, or plain apple?

Oh no, I’m on a roll.

What about ice cream or whipped cream? Oh my, here we go again! Homemade whipped cream or store bought whipped cream? Frozen whipped cream out of a tub or foamy whipped cream out of a can?

Actually, it all sounds good!

Too often we see differences as problems. We defend and debate and divide. This year, let’s look at differences as variety. Instead of defending, let’s share; instead of debating, let’s listen; and, instead of dividing, let’s add new options to our inventory of choices. I realize that sometimes the selection given us is not what we would have chosen. But, on this day of Thanksgiving, on this day of gathering, can I, can we put aside what we like best and appreciate those we love? It really is up to us.

Deceit is in the hearts of those who plot evil, but those who promote peace have joy. (Proverbs 12:2) Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it. (Psalm 34:14)

p.s. Just one more (I can’t resist): Instead of turkey, what about serving steaks, or ham, or burgers? Celebrate new options!!

Sorry if you are seeing this a second time.  The wrong version went out earlier!!  Arrggggggghhhh, it can happen to any us.

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I found this hilarious article: “Thanksgiving Day Crafts.” Can you imagine: getting out a hammer, nails and hand saw on one of the greatest football days in the entire year? Or, clearing the dining room table for some fun with the glue gun, beads and feathers? Crafts on Thanksgiving are a crazy idea!

But, why not have some fun this Thanksgiving?

Here are some of the great things we have seen done over the years:

• Plan the “big” meal around the football schedule. Rather than be irritated that you call “dinner” and everyone in front of the TV groans or if you have just seen the start of the second half and you hear “dinner,” why not do some planning? Regardless of whether you will be enjoying a sit down dinner at home or eating at a restaurant, plan the meal around the games (or parades) people want to watch. One year, during our biggest game of the year, we were pulled away to go out to dinner. And, even though we had recorded the game and asked everyone not to tell us what happened, someone shared the final score. Not cool!
• I loved the year that we made “party hats” for a family dinner. (This is a no planning, no mess “craft.”) Using newspaper and markers, the youngest nieces and nephews made three corner hats for each of us. The kids had a great time and it kept them busy. But, what was really, really fun was that the family members actually wore the hats throughout the dinner. It was GREAT!! We all looked silly; the kids absolutely loved it; and it made a family dinner more fun than anyone expected it to be. What a great time!
• Just before Poppa’s birthday, we found “pirate” birthday party items for 75% off. A dinner theme had been found! One of my nieces helped me make eye patches out of felt and yarn. A dinner party was held with the Mullins clan all wearing eye patches. It was a scream! For next to no cost, we had so much fun. (Well, at least I did!)
• Friends of ours go camping every Thanksgiving weekend. The gals who don’t enjoy camping stay at home and bring a Thanksgiving feast out to the campsite; some items are homemade and others are not.

Why do just a little planning in this year and add lots of fun?

• Get out the newspaper and make some hats. I mean, every dinner is just more fun when you are wearing a hat!!
• Grab the football and toss it around between the meal and dessert; work off a couple of calories.
• Go for a walk and see what the neighbors are up to. Walk over to the neighborhood grade school and take a minute to compare how the playground equipment is different from when you were a child.
• Share with the kids a story about a Thanksgiving when you were young.
• Pull out the board game that you haven’t played in years and play fair.
• Grab the “old” photo albums and make up captions. (No fair getting offended!)
• Put the Christmas tree up and enjoy memories of years past.
• Start a bonfire, wrap up in blankets and use those lawn chairs one more time this year.
• Deconflict football and food!

Thanksgiving can be so much more fun when we plan just a few easy activities. Make it more than a day of food and football. No matter what activity you plan, remember that it only takes a moment to create a memory that will last a life time.  Have fun!!

“Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name.” (Psalm 100:4)

It was my last semester of college and I was student teaching. Our school did not allow student teachers to “work” during that term; I am not sure that spending a week being a nanny was legal or not. A family owned an electronics store and the parents had won a sales promotion contest. Their prize was a trip to Italy and they needed someone to watch their two teenage daughters and grade school son. I didn’t mind helping out and so I accepted the task.

The house was beautiful with every up-to-date appliance and electronic gadget available. (I wondered if they had won the sales prize by furnishing their own home.)

The older daughter had a boyfriend and that presented my first challenge. The goodbyes with the parents had just been finished when the girl announced to me that she was scared about being “alone,” so her boyfriend would be spending each night on the living room couch. I was clear (and probably loud) in explaining that I was there to make them safe and that the boyfriend would be leaving each evening at the established time. She was surprised but the couple didn’t put up a fight.

The second daughter decided one day to make dinner; that was fine by me. She bought pork chops and then proceeded to cook all flavor and moisture out of them. Too late I discovered that she was fearful of trichinosis and wanted to ensure that the pork was cooked fully. You could break those chops on a rock, but you couldn’t cut them.

On Saturday I decided to bake a pie. I have no clue why I did that; I do not remember another time in my life when I have been in a pie making mood. Rather than buy pie dough at the store (ensuring a perfect result), I chose the old fashioned way and mixed and rolled out a homemade crust. The young son sat on a stool, watching my every move. I offered to let him help and he declined. Instead, he stared intently, appearing to study the process. When I started cutting up apples, he asked me what kind of pie I was making. I smiled and said, “Apple.” He nodded and then became silent again. When the pies went into the oven, he seemed sad. Halfway through the baking time, I turned on the oven light to check to see how the pies were doing. The boy was excited with what he saw and asked if I would leave the light on. That kid was fixated on those pies the entire afternoon.

Later, when we were enjoying hot apple pie with ice cream, I asked him why he was so interested in baking. He explained that he did not know how a pie was made. He seemed a little surprised that the crust on top was the same “stuff” as the crust on the bottom of the pie. After more discussion, I learned that he knew little about what went on in a kitchen.

Then it struck me – the kitchen was too clean. I should have realized it after the pork chop incident. The kitchen was never used for cooking; it was used for warming and reheating functions only. I did a quick inspection. There was no little bits of cookie dough on the mixer base. The oven was immaculate (or at least it was until I baked apple pies). The pots and pans were shiny and it was easy to see that the loaf pans had never held a meat loaf or banana bread. The kitchen that was perfect was also unused. Hmm. It reminded me of the woman we knew who had the living room full of furniture with plastic covers; I never saw anyone go into that room.

There is a cable company commercial with the stereotypical characters of “dumb dad” and “smart daughter.” In it, the dad says, “You can’t have your cake and eat it too.” The daughter replies, “Dad, if we have cake, we should eat it.”

Let me add my own recommendations to that advice:

• If you have a kitchen, you should use it.
• If you have family, you should hug them.
• If you have golf clubs, you should take them for a test drive from time-to-time.
• If you have toenails and a little extra cash, you should schedule a pedi.
• If you have a voice, you should sing.
• If you have a vote, you should use it wisely.
• If you have faith, you should rely on it.

Well, you know what I mean. Life is meant to be lived.

Make a pie. Use the oven!!!!

“Nehemiah said, ‘Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.’” Nehemiah 8:10

I apologize for hitting your email inbox again today; but I cannot contain my joy!

Some of you subscribe to my first blog “CarlaJillStein.com” on leadership and learning.  Not long ago, I wrote about a tomato plant that grew in spite of flood and neglect.  (You can find the original posting at:  http://carlajillstein.com/2014/10/16/lesson-from-a-tomato-plant/

Well, we are having a couple of days of near freezing weather and so this morning I harvested the tomatoes off of that sorry plant.  Some are only marble sized, but they, ALL 32 OF THEM, look good!!  32 tomatoes from a beat up, neglected plant – amazing.

That little plant reminded me that there is hope for me yet!!!  And, if there is hope for this old girl, there is hope for you!!!!  Happy Friday.