I overheard a conversation not long ago. When describing their boss, the worker  commented “they are a goal changer.” It struck a chord with me. I have worked with and for “goal changers.”  And, I may have been one more than once in my life.

Goal changers are always “upping” the goal. They add new requirements; change the entire task; create new rules. Working for someone like that means you will never finish a project. A friend, noted that a supervisor was retiring and asked, “did we get it right yet?”

Goal changers are usually not involved in the work; they like to sit back and determine if the work was done correctly or on-time or met their every shifting set of parameters.

But, are we goal changers when it comes to “gathering together”? Do we share one set of expectations and then change them? For instance, “we just want a pleasant family dinner” becomes “we just want a pleasant family dinner where everyone agrees on everything.” Or, “let’s set a limit for gift giving” becomes “I hope you like the gift; I decided to go over the limit we set.”

How about when we become goal changers to ourselves? For instance, planning to do 10 things turns into a decision to do 20 more tasks.

We can sabotage our “gathering together” by changing the goals. Let’s watch ourselves this year, establish some goals, and then stop when we get there. Stay the course.  Keep on track.  Stop adding more to the to do list!!  Enjoy these days, January will come soon enough!

Love,

Jill (just one of God’s kids)

At some point during this time of “gathering together” someone will probably suggest that we go to “church.” I’ve been thinking about “church” today.

Southerners (and others) will remember Bo Jackson for his football career at Auburn University, being named the Heisman trophy winner in 1985.  He was the first athlete in modern times to play professional baseball and basketball in the same year.  Not only did Bo play the two sports during the same years, but he was also an All Star in both.  That status caused Nike to make him their cross-training spokesman in 1989 and 1990.

When Nike used Mr. Jackson as their spokesman, they used the phrase “you don’t know Bo.” What an interesting thought.

Recently, an acquaintance told me that they had “quit going to church” because it was boring and not relevant.  Although that conversation has and will continue between us friends, I think that at some point, I may say, “You don’t know church.”

“Church” is not something I go to.  Yes, there is a building in which we meet and some call that building the “church”, but they are wrong.  It is just a building where we meet.

“Church” is a community that has accepted me and supports me.

This week, “church” called and told me that I needed a break — they would take over some tasks that I had planned to do; their offer was just what I needed.

Two weeks ago, “church” visited my parents as Poppa was hospitalized and struggling.  Then “church” encouraged them, shared with them, prayed with them, and cared for them.

The last few years “church” has listened and commiserated with us as we fought with bureaucratic offices and processes.

Yesterday “church” took meals over to people in need (without those who received having to ask or pay for it).

“Church” comforted the family who lost a child and needed “family” when their blood family lived far away.

“Church” encouraged me to continue my education and study.

“Church” not only preformed the marriage ceremony for us, but taught us what marriage should be, gave us wonderful things to use in our new home, encouraged us every day.

“Church” helped me when John was deployed, prayed for the two of us, and helped us celebrate his return.

“Church” does not ask us for money but encourages us to be faithful to God.

“Church” does not preach at us, but shares truths from the Bible each week and teaches in a way that we understand.  When we don’t agree with something, “church” listens to our point and never pushes us away.

“Church” brings us together with people we would never meet during our daily activities.  “Church” has given us friends who are there for us no matter what.

“Church” lets us use our creativity to serve.  We are not assigned to dull tasks, but we take on projects because we want to serve, and we love the people we are with.

But, most of all “church” encourages me to walk with God.  When I have doubt, “church” is there.  When I have fears, “church” is there.  When I am discouraged, “church” is there.  When I am ready to celebrate, “church” is there.

If you asked me to describe “church” I would use words like: focused on Christ; mature and just getting started; single, married, divorced; the full gamut of skin tones; the weak and the strong; rich in potential; caring; homeless and house-rich; curious; concerned; loving…I could go on and on and on.

Friend, Christmas is the perfect time to rethink your assumptions about “church.”   If you think “church” is a building and a sermon, you don’t know “church.”

“Church” is God’s people, living and working together to make this world heaven on earth.

Hope to see you at “church” soon!!

Love,

Jill (just one of God’s kids)

I read a great quote recently, “If you cannot look on the bright side, I will sit with you in the dark.” It was attributed to the wonderful story of “Alice in Wonderland.” I researched the quote and its origin became unclear. Apparently the quote may not have come from Alice in Wonderland. (Imagine that – something on the internet may not be truthful!!! Shocking!!!)

Regardless, it is still a good thought. Read it again, “If you cannot look on the bright side, I will sit with you in the dark.” (We are not talking about darkness that is dangerous – if that is the case, run, do not walk, to get help!)

It appears that the person CANNOT look on the bright side; it isn’t that that do not want to look or do not desire to look, but that they CANNOT look on the bright side.

This Christmas season, we are all going to find ourselves near someone who cannot look on the bright side. No matter how wonderful the gift or how bright the Christmas lights, they cannot (not that they don’t want to, but they cannot) look on the bright side. So, what do we do?

The author of the quote (whoever it is) suggests that we sit in the dark with them. Does that mean we don’t see the lights on the Christmas tree or the presents with the ribbons? No, sitting in the dark with them does not mean that we can experience their pain or ignore our own joy. It means that we are with them, where they are, not prattling on about how they ought to just cheer up. We just sit…with them. We don’t debate if they could have kept from entering the dark “if they had just done” a, b or c. And, we don’t discuss how eventually “everything will be OK.” We just sit…in the dark…with them.

Folks have done that for me. I have been in the dark at times. I didn’t want to be there and at times I could not imagine how to get out. But, in the dark I was and looking on the bright side just wasn’t an option at the time. Those who sat…in the dark…with me mean more than they know.

Before you family and friends start calling my hubby asking, “is Jill all right???”, don’t worry. I am fine!! But I do know that others are not so fine this year. This Christmas is their first without that special person; this time of the year brings up difficult memories; for some, the end of 2019 is bringing new struggles.

My personality finds sitting in the dark so very difficult. I want to cheer folks up. In fact, in first grade, our teacher, Mrs. Starrett yelled at our class so much that one of my classmates wet her pants. That really made Mrs. Starrett mad and she yelled at us more as she stomped out of the room to find the janitor. As she left, I noticed that some kids were crying (and the room smelled like pee), so I decided to cheer everyone up. I stood on the top of the table and encouraged my classmates to sing with me. Let’s just say that Mrs. Starrett’s return to the room DID NOT contribute positively to my efforts to lighten the mood.

Even though old habits die hard, I have learned the value of sitting with someone in the dark. Instead of singing, I pray. Instead of speaking, I pray. Instead of trying to get them to see the bright side, I pray.

This season don’t forget the importance of sitting….in the dark…with them.

Love,

Jill (just one of God’s kids)

“Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2)

Tonight, I made a “quick” trip to Walmart to pick up bananas and cereal for tomorrow plus a few other things. As I headed home I watched five sheriff deputy cars rush past me, going the opposite direction, lights flashing and sirens on. As I drove I thought, there is nothing good at the end of that journey. It reminded me of another drive home a few weeks ago.

I was traveling on the same road, in the same direction as my drive this evening. But, this time, three deputy sheriff cars passed me going the other direction. I saw their lights in my rear-view mirror first and then heard the sirens. When I realized that they were going my way, I slowed down and pulled over to the side of the road.

But, as I drove and the emergency vehicles passed me, I realized that they were heading toward our house. Then, I could see in the far distance that the emergency vehicles had stopped. From where I was it looked like those lights were in front of our home. I couldn’t drive any faster as I saw other emergency vehicles come from another direction; and, it looked like they were all in front of our place.

I started to panic but knew that there was nothing I could do. It was either an emergency for us or it was an emergency for someone else. Neither option was good.

I have been there before:

• Waiting for the doctor to show up and give you both the test results.
• The call or text from the family member that you didn’t expect.
• Your boss saying, “We need to talk.”

The thing you dread either happens or it doesn’t. On this day, the emergency vehicles were gathered at the intersection just west of us. They were close to but not at our home; we didn’t need their help…today.

As we “gather together” this year, do not fret over things you cannot control. Think about how many times you have seen emergency vehicles on the road, and they were not stopping in front of your home. Let’s count our blessings!!

Love,

Jill (just one of God’s kids)

“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” (Romans 12:12)

Folks sometime ask me how I get topics for blogging. I’ve got to confess – I start a list of blog topics/stories in the fall and then, most often, I write about the one that catches my attention on that day. And, then there are days when something just has to be told.

Our home was destroyed in the 2014 flood. We have spent the last five years living in our 5th wheel. It was a time of learning and growing. But, it was also the period during which most of our Christmas decorations were in storage. Fast forward to this weekend – all of the Christmas “stuff” is out of storage and is cluttering our main room, waiting for us to set it up.

I have done a few things, but the Christmas trees still are bare. We do two trees: a traditional tree filled with family memories and a Chrismon tree. You may not be familiar with a “Chrismon tree.” It is a tree that is decorated with Christian symbols. Ours is simple in white and gold. We have crosses, stars, angels, etc. It is a blessing to see and to think about what Christmas really means to us – God coming to earth as man, living and giving up His life, carrying our sins to the cross.  Christ gave us the path to become what we were created to be — God’s children enjoying a loving relationship with God Himself.  Looking at our Chrismon tree reminds me of the real meaning of Christmas.

Well, the Chrismon tree has been in storage for the past five years, just like everything else. When we plugged it in, one tiny string of lights near the top and another small string near the bottom came on. That tree needed help!! So, we made a decision that we now regret – we decided to remove the lights from this pre-lit tree. Have you ever done that it? It would have been so much easier (and, based on current hourly wages, cheaper) to just toss the old one and buy a new one.

But, noooooo, we wanted to salvage that old tree. We removed clips, we removed tie wraps, we snipped dead wires, and we accidently clipped one live wire. In the process, the working string on the bottom of the tree died. The line near the top became a stumbling block to finishing the task, so we clipped that one (remembering to unplug it) and took it out too.

In the middle of the project, I ran to the store to get new lights. But, doggone it, when I got home, John was still hard at removing the old lights. (I had hoped that he would be done with that silly project!) Instead, I grabbed the other set of clippers and got back to work.

I have no idea how they make those trees. Somebody works really hard to make sure that every light is well hidden and tied tightly to the branch.

The floor under the tree is now trashed with clips and wires and two small branches that were lost (my fault) in the process. Our fingers and backs are sore. But, the tree is WIRELESS!!

Some things should be left behind.

• Is it time to give up on that tradition that no one but you likes?
• How about abandoning that guilty feeling for something that happened years ago?
• Is it time to quit punishing that loved one?

Take a lesson from my achy back and sore fingers – stop dealing with old and bad stuff –

BUY A NEW TREE!!

Love,

Jill (Just one of God’s kids)

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” (Isaiah 43:18-19)

I needed a new pair of black dress shoes. I used to like shoe shopping, but since my knee replacement surgery, it isn’t nearly as much fun. I remember shoe shopping trip with my friend, Tena. Let’s just say that I spent enough that day to make a car payment on my old T-Bird. I’m not a shoe snob and I never had the best shoes in the room, but I enjoyed the shopping process.

But, since the knee surgery, I have given up wearing heels and look for the softest shoes I can find that fit and don’t look “too” orthopedic. As a child my shoes were literally orthopedic, so I know how those look and feel. But, soft shoes and flats are the best things for my body and they really do feel great!

Anyway, I went shoe shopping. My “good black shoes” had to be replaced. (Men: Please understand that nearly every woman has this pair in her closet. Yes, we have many other pairs, but most of us have a favorite pair of black dress shoes.) My priorities are simple: size, softness, style, color. As I walked through the aisles at a large shoe store, I pulled boxes, waiting to try them on at the same time and do the comparisons that are so important.

I had several boxes and it looked like I had pretty much exhausted my options – it was time to try them on. As I sat there, another shopper walked by. She was wearing a pair of shoes that looked just like my second pair of Asics walking shoes – same color and style. I commented that I loved those shoes and wished that when I had bought my last pair of Asics that I had reordered those rather than trying something new.

We began to chat. She asked me what I was looking for. I explained that I had to wear softer, low heeled shoes. My physical therapist had advised me that this was the best thing for me and that following his instructions had brought me many pain free days. She seemed distracted and kept looking at beautiful stiletto heels. She could carry them off and I was just a little envious.

She asked me quietly, “How have you done since the surgery?” I replied that I was doing great – the surgery had gone very well and that I was still following my physical therapist’s instructions 2 ½ years post-surgery. I’ve been very happy with the results. But, my shoes post-surgery aren’t nearly as exciting as my former choices were.

I then asked her what she did. I didn’t know her; she could have lied, and I would never have known. But, her reply was simple, “I’m a physical therapist. I know what I should do. But, clearly from the pile of shoes in front of me, I wasn’t planning to do the right thing.” I smiled but didn’t say anything. About then, I had decided on my pair of shoes and we said our goodbyes.

I have no idea what she bought that day. But, her words have come to my mind so many times. She said that she wasn’t planning to do the right thing. I knew why I needed to wear the less attractive shoes, but I don’t know a thing about her situation. Maybe she also had been advised to wear something other than what was grabbing her attention.

How often have I planned to not do the right thing? Am I on track this Christmas season to do the right thing? It’s a fair question to ask; and, it isn’t a hard question to answer — if we’re honest.

Just a thought as we start this first week of Advent.

Love,

Jill (just one of God’s kids)

“And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” (Galatians 6:9)

A few years ago, I volunteered to run our church’s live nativity (“Love’s Story”). It is a blessing to share the story of Jesus with our community. Even though it isn’t cheap in time, money or labor, it is so much fun.

About two months before we hold the event, I ask local businesses for donations. And, they are so very generous and kind. But, to be honest, I dread making these requests. It feels a lot like begging; and, standing at the office or customer service desk or hallway can make me feel like an interloper. This year, Ryan changed all of that.

I took my business cards, letter of introduction and smiling self and went into Ryan’s place of business, a large, box store with hundreds of employees. I have been here before. Most of the time, this company gives us a kind donation of a gift card to be used at their store.

The nice lady at the counter greeted me and I explained why I was there. She said, “Let me call Ryan.” I handed her my letter with business card attached and she read parts of it out loud as she talked on the phone “Ryan.” It was a quick call; she turned to me and said, “I’ll be back.” I stood there feeling awkward, trying to find products with labels to read.

In just a few minutes, the woman I had spoken with returned with “Ryan.” We shook hands and he said, “I remember you well; of course, we will help again this year.” Then he smiled and handed to me a gift card that was double what they had donated last year. What??  I was shocked.  I didn’t have to make multiple visits to Ryan’s business; I didn’t have to explain over and over why I was asking for their help; I didn’t have to beg.  I asked and Ryan said yes and yes again.  It still gives me chills.

Ryan gave us what we needed and then he gave us more.

(You need to understand that the donation was only $50, but that is twice what it was last year.  You might think that a large business would do more – I don’t worry about that at all.  A gift doesn’t have to “big” to give me chills.  Generosity has nothing at all to do with the dollar amount.)

What a wonderful reminder of what the holidays should mean. This year, I want to be like Ryan. I want to be generous. I want to give people what they really want and need. I want to give with grace and ease and style. I want giving to be fun and unexpected and joyful.

Love,

Jill (just one of God’s kids)

“The point is this: whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.”      (2 Corinthians 9:6-7)

Mom and Poppa never turned down someone who looked like they needed a meal. And, nearly every Sunday dinner our dining room table included people who had nowhere else to go.

In 1962, Reverend C. J. Garrett lost of the love of his life, Grace. I was 6 when she died, but I remember the two of them together. Reverend Garrett lived alone for a while and then moved (or was moved?) to the Good Samaritan Nursing Home. I remember visiting him there many times. He would hand us kids his Bible and offer $1 if we could find a page that did not have a note that he had written in the margins. He was clear, the page could not simply have a section underlined, it had to have a note he had written. It was fun to try, but I never got a dollar from him! Reverend Garrett was a man of God who read and studied and digested and loved the word of God, his Bible.

Often, Mom and Poppa would invite Reverend Garrett to join us for Sunday dinner. We would pick him up at Good Sam, take him to church, take him back home for lunch, and then deliver him back to Good Sam. It was a fun day for us kids. He was a delightful addition to the table and always added a lot of laughter to the conversation.

We didn’t see him for a while — he had been sick. And then, he was back. A week or two later, Mom and Poppa asked him to Sunday dinner and he was sitting at our table just like always. It was then that I saw what he did with the gravy boat. My mouth flew open and Mom did one of those silent looks my way that said, “Do NOT say a thing.”

Reverend Garrett had filled his plate with delicious food. I would imagine it was roast beef with carrots and potatoes, a green leafy salad, probably two side dishes of vegetables, and a biscuit. The gravy boat was passed to him. He filled the ladle with gravy, raised it over his plate, looked at the food in front of him, and proceeded to cover the entire plate of food with gravy. And, he dipped the ladle and did it again. What shocked me was to see the salad of lettuce, tomatoes, celery, and dressing disappear under spoon after spoon of gravy.

And then, Reverend Garrett astonished me.  He sat back and he ate it all.  No, that is wrong, he didn’t eat it, he savored it, he enjoyed it, he relished every bite.  He ate until his plate was nearly empty and then he took another biscuit and sopped up every morsel that remained.  He sat back from the table, patted his belly, smiled and said that he was ready for dessert.

I am not sure that I have ever seen anyone enjoy gravy more!  Mom told me later that it might have made him sick that evening.  We will never know.  But, his pleasure of eating Mom’s homemade gravy was a thing to remember.

This holiday season, don’t forget to enjoy the “gravy” in your life.  Heap it on.  Relish every moment.  Don’t skimp.  Don’t feel guilty about enjoying something good.  Just sit back and experience the joys of the season.

Ok, I can feel the stares of some of you boring into my head.  Yes, we have to be careful about what we eat.  And, yes, too much gravy can be bad for you.  But, enjoying the good “gravy” this holiday season will give us memories of “gathering together” that we just can’t get when we are stingy or “too careful.”  Could we all (myself included) please stop counting the calories for a minute or two and take in the rich things of the season?

Love,

Jill (just one of God’s kids)

“This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it!!” (Psalm 118:24)

Hi!! I have missed you! Are you ready to have some fun as “We Gather Together?” My hope is that we will be gathering together (virtually) to consider some joys, challenges, opportunities, moments and surprises of the holidays.

The hymn “We Gather Together” is one of my favorites. It is a Dutch hymn, written in 1597 to celebrate the Dutch victory over the Spanish. The song is particularly poignant because the Spanish had oppressed the Dutch, with the Spanish King refusing Dutch Protestants freedom of worship. Americans adopted it as a song for the Thanksgiving holiday in the 1930’s. And, during World War II, Americans sang the hymn, considering the Germans and Japanese as “the wicked oppressing.” This song has legs!

I love the hymn for my own reasons. Some of these come for the first two lines of the song.

• It is “we” who gather together. We are equal; there is no discrimination among “us.”
• “We” decide to gather together. It is not an accident nor an activity that is forced upon us. We make a conscious choice to associate with one another.
• Our purpose is not prideful. We do not gather to pretend to be more than we are. Nor, are we focused on making others feel bad (or good). Instead, we gather together to “ask the Lord’s blessing.” This statement might put some of you off. If you are unsure of either the truth or value of that goal, please stay with me through this year’s musings. I am praying that there is something for each of us to learn here.
• God’s intention is to “make His will known.” So often, you and I, our community, our family, raises our faces to the sky and asks “God, what on earth is going on?” Or, “God, surely You are not paying attention.” Or, “God, are You even there?” The writer of the hymn tells us that God “chastens and hastens” (in other words, He is pushing hard to get it done) His will to make known.

(Do you feel like you are back in Junior High/Middle School with the teacher reading some obscure poem and asking, “What does this mean to you?” No worries, this is just the introduction to this season’s musings-it gets better!!)

So, as you and your family, friends gather together or as you gather your thoughts and enjoy/exist/suffer-through this Thanksgiving, consider what it might to “gather together.” Join me – it will be fun!!

Love,

Jill (just one of God’s kids)

“We gather together to ask the Lord’s blessing;  He chastens and hastens His will to make known. The wicked oppressing now cease from distressing. Sing praises to His Name; He forgets not His own. 

“Beside us to guide us, our God with us joining, Ordaining, maintaining His kingdom divine; So, from the beginning the fight we were winning; Thou, Lord, were at our side, all glory be Thine!

“We all do extol Thee, Thou Leader triumphant, and pray that Thou still our Defender will be. Let Thy congregation escape tribulation; Thy Name be ever praised! O Lord make us free!”

The other night John and I ran across a Christmas movie that neither one of us had ever seen: “The Polar Express.” For those of you who have seen it, I know that you are asking “how have you missed that fun Christmas movie?” For those who haven’t seen it, check it out, it is delightful!

The best thing about the movie was that it was an unexpected couple of hours for the two of us to discover something delightful. The time together was wonderful. My memory of that movie will always be of just the two of us in our trailer on a chilly December evening eating pumpkin pie and enjoying a sweet story. (Can you hear the bell?)

Holidays can be challenging because we expect too much. We want those we love to engage in meaningful conversations with us when they are trying to be good parents and wrangle their bored kids. We expect the meal to be perfect when we failed to schedule it around the time of the “big game.” We want the Christmas service at church to bring us heavenly peace when we haven’t even thought about our relationship with God.

We (I) have forgotten that growth takes time. Oh, there can be growth spurts – just ask that couple who recently discovered each other or the person who has just given their heart to the Lord and established a relationship with the King of kings. But, most growing things take time.

Little lesson – take the time for growth. We love a commercial for its great tag line: “Put down the doughnut and pick up the phone.” My advice today is: “Put down the phone and pick up the doughnut” IF that means you are going to spend time growing a relationship. You can hit the gym tomorrow.